Always Comes Back
by Nox Pluvia
Summary: I just close my eyes and go back to a time when everything seemed so easy.
1. Always Comes Back

Author's Note: I was feeling lonely, and this is the result. For some reason I like to use Sho to communicate my feelings. It makes it easier for me, I guess . . . I wasn't sure if I was going to publish this or not, but I kind of like it, so I decided that it was a good idea. It feels weird saying that I like something I wrote . . . but I learned a lot about myself writing it, so that's probably why . . . I tried my best to make it as Sho as I could, but I haven't seen the show in a long time so I'm not sure if I did a good job . . . I did try, though.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX

* * *

It feels lonely . . . being a graduate. I'm glad that I was able to graduate, don't get me wrong. For awhile there, I didn't think it was possible . . . and I even graduated as one of the best duelists in the school. I'm proud of myself, but . . . I wish I could go back. I haven't seen anyone since graduation two months ago. It's been very lonely . . .

I've been living in a 1K apartment in Domino City, close to the Game Shop that Yūgi's ojisan owns. I go there a lot, hoping to run into someone. A lot of duelists go there . . . but so far no one I know. I have two part time jobs right now. I work at a convenience store during the day, and at night I'm a waiter at a popular gay bar. I don't think that I'm gay myself, but my 'cute looks' are very popular so I get a lot of tips. I mean, I do get asked out a lot . . . but I just say that I'm already in a relationship and they leave me alone . . . usually.

A duelist's life isn't as glamorous as it looks . . . I thought it'd be fairly easy, but since my deck has a lot of niisan's cards in it, a lot of people think I'm just a wannabe. It'll take awhile for me to get out of his shadow completely . . . speaking of niisan, he decided to go to America for a year where he could make a new deck and completely start over. Our relationship has gotten a lot better. We've even been sending emails too each other. I haven't been completely honest with him, though . . . I haven't told him about how people are reacting to my deck. I don't want him to worry about me.

Aniki is still missing. I guess missing is the wrong word . . . he's still off doing whatever he feels like. I hope he's doing okay . . . I know aniki can do anything, but I still worry about him. It'd be nice if he at least sent a letter or email to let me know that he's still alive. But, I suppose it'd take a lot to kill him . . . yeah, aniki wouldn't die so easily. Still . . . I hope I see him again soon. It's weird, seeing someone almost every day for three years, and then they're . . . gone. It's nice to say friends forever but it's not as easy as it sounds. People grow apart, go their separate ways. I feel very alone just thinking about it . . .

I feel lonely, but remembering my life at the Academy makes me feel happy. Those memories help keep me going. Whenever I'm harassed at the bar, or I read negative articles about me, I just close my eyes and go back to a time when everything seemed so easy. I usually go back to my first year. We were so innocent back then. I can't help but smile at those memories. They make my heart feel . . . bigger, and stronger. Life is hard now, but the younger me tried too hard for me to give up now. That's what I think.

I know that it'll be hard to become a real professional duelist. People haven't been able to look past my deck yet. I know it'd be easier to just use my old one, or even make a new one, but niisan passed this deck on to me. I won't stop using it just because people want me to. And it has only been two months. There's still time for people to accept me. I can understand why they'd think that I'm trying to ride on niisan's coattails. Going to the same school, using his cards. I just have to keep my head held high. Eventually everyone will see that I'm not behind niisan, but standing beside him.

I'm watching the sunset right now. I remember when niisan used to watch the sunset every night at the lighthouse. He always looked so cool. I used to watch him sometimes and wish that I could watch it with him. I wonder if he still watches the sunset in America . . . I'll ask him the next time I send him an email. I usually see the sunset and the sunrise. It feels nice to see them both. It's comforting to know that the sun will always rise in the morning. No matter how bad things get, or how dark your life seems, the sun always comes back.

-丸藤翔 (Shō Marufuji)


	2. Usagi

Author's Note: This was going to be a one shot, but Lobo Argost mentioned multiple chapters . . . and I'm the kind of person who likes to please people so . . . I made another chapter. I wasn't sure what to write at first, so I asked Peach, and she said to write a night at a gay bar. So yeah . . . I did as much research as I could without actually going to a Japanese gay bar, so I apologize if it's not very accurate. I read some strange stuff for this . . . "A bit cold during the winter months, but the men will keep you warm." Ha . . . well, if I ever go to Japan, I'll know where all the gay bars are. The things I do for accuracy . . .

Disclaimer: I still do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX.

* * *

Ten o'clock, Saturday night. I just started my shift at Usagi. It's going to be a long night . . . I can't go home until five in the morning. I'm really glad I have the day off at the convenience store tomorrow . . . I feel like I spend all of my time working. I can't wait until I can make some more money from dueling . . . I want to visit niisan in America before he comes home. It's hard to save up the money when I have bills to pay and food to buy . . .

I wonder what everyone would think if they could see me now . . . since it's Saturday, Mama made me wear something . . . really embarrassing. I think that if they saw me wearing booty shorts, I would jump off a bridge . . . Mama says I look good in them, but that doesn't really make me feel happy . . .

Mama is the owner of Usagi. Some people call him Master, but since I'm supposed to be the adorable, innocent uke type, I have to call him Mama. He's a really nice man. He kind of saved me, actually. I was pretty shocked at how negative people were after my first duel . . . some of niisan's scary fangirls even threw stuff at me . . . and I was wandering around the city feeling really sorry for myself. Mama was unlocking the bar when I walked by, and I was pretty dirty from the food that was thrown at me, so he called out to me and asked if I wanted to come in and get cleaned up. I was too tired to say no.

While I was getting cleaned up, I told Mama what had happened, and that I didn't know how I was going to do about money. That's when Mama offered me a job. He was about to hire an assistant anyway, and he told me that with my looks I'd make a lot of tips. And attract a lot of costumers. Plus, the pay would be good . . . I told him that I wasn't gay, and he said that he'd protect me from the perverts. He set up this three strikes rule for me. If one person harasses me three times, they're kicked out for two weeks. My experience here could be a lot worse . . .

Great . . . some customers. I really don't like this job. The stares . . . having to act all adorable . . . it's kind of degrading. It's really affected what I wear when I'm not working here. I wear a lot of baggy shirts that cover my butt so perverts don't stare at it like they do here . . . I guess I can't really blame them tonight though. Booty shorts . . .

First customers of the night, and I've already been harassed. I really hate pick-up lines. "Excuse me. My friend is a little embarrassed. He'd like your phone number. He wants to know where he can get a hold of me in the morning." And all I can do is smile that cutesy smile, say that I'll be here until morning, and ask them what they want to drink. And when I go to get their drink, I can feel them staring you-know-where. Just take a deep breath. They can't hurt you with Mama around. They can just annoy you.

"If I were to flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"

"Are you free sometime next week? Or do you charge?"

"Those are nice shorts. Do you think I could get into them?"

"Let's play pool. We can use my cue and balls, and your hole."

"Have you heard that things get stiff when they're dead? Well, put your hands down my pants and you'll see I'm dying."

It never ends. I don't want Mama to lose customers, so I have to act like it doesn't bother me. I have to giggle, and come up with some innocent response to whatever lame lines they throw at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm not very good at math. Maybe you should ask someone else."

"I'm working every day next week. Maybe some other time."

"I don't think so . . . they're pretty small, so I don't think you'd be able to put them on."

"I don't really like pool. Maybe you could find someone else to play with you."

"You're dying? Oh dear, I think you should go to a doctor for that."

This is how I spend my nights. I can think of a lot of things I'd rather be doing . . . but I don't get money doing those things. I really hope no one finds out about this . . . I don't think any of them are gay . . . but you never know . . . then again, if they do come in here, I'll know that they're gay. So it'd probably be an 'I won't say anything if you don't' kind of deal . . . But still, I can't help but worry about what they'd think of me if they ever found out . . .

I just have to remind myself that this is just temporary. Soon I'll be accepted in the dueling community, and then I won't have to make money here. It's just temporary. And then I can forget all about it and move on with my life. That's right. It'll all be okay . . . some day.

I'm on my way home now. It's 5:15am. The sun is rising again. I love watching the sunrise on my way home from work. It helps me forget how hard the night was, and remember the good times. I wonder if niisan has replied to my email yet . . . I'll check before I go to bed. And I'll have sweet dreams of dueling with my friends on the island.

-丸藤翔 (Shō Marufuji)

* * *

P.S. Yes, Usagi is actually a Japanese gay bar name. I had to resist the urge to use Arty Farty . . . I don't like this chapter as much as the other one, but I will admit that it was fun. Pick-up lines make me laugh.


	3. Falling Down

Author's Note: Well, more chapters were requested yet again so . . . I'll be honest, I really have no idea where I'm supposed to go with this. So much for a one shot . . . ha . . . anyway, so, since I had no other ideas, I decided to use this opportunity to write a songfic type thing. I've been thinking about this for awhile, and since this story is pretty much random thoughts from Sho after graduation, I thought why not. Make a chapter of Sho thinking while listening to a song. It's my only idea, so I'm going with it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX or Falling Down.

* * *

I really needed this day off . . . I'm exhausted. I was able to do some shopping with only a few death glares from niisan's fan girls. Less than usual, which was nice. I don't have to be at Usagi for another three hours, so now I'm just relaxing at home. It feels good to have some free time, but . . . I don't really know what to do with it. Niisan hasn't replied to the email I sent this morning yet, and I don't have a TV to watch . . .

I do have a stereo though . . . that's right, Mama lent me a CD! He said that he thought I'd like it. Staind . . . 14 Shades of Grey . . . well, I have nothing better to do. And Mama does have good taste in music . . . ugh, I even call him Mama when I'm not working. It feels really weird calling a man Mama . . .

I know it doesn't really fit my appearance, but I really like music genres like alternative rock, post-grunge, and stuff like that. I don't really like the heavy stuff, but I am enjoying this Staind album. I'm at track nine now. It's called Falling Down.

_What's happened to you?_

_It's obvious you've changed_

_Something deep inside you is probably to blame_

_Must be lonely up there with your head all in the clouds_

_Even though you got there what does your conscience tell you now?_

Huh . . . this makes me think about aniki . . . back in our third year with all of those alternate dimensions. He really changed a lot . . . I've forgiven him for it, but at the time I was really angry . . . and scared. We were in a strange place, and aniki was killing our friends . . . I don't like to think about it.

_It's never the same on the way down_

_How does it feel when your feet finally hit the ground?_

_When all of your bridges aren't around_

_And the sandcastles you built are falling down_

Now that I think about it . . . I wonder how aniki felt after all of that. I never really asked him . . . but it must have really hurt when I snapped at him like that. What was I supposed to do? He wasn't acting like himself . . . I guess I could have been a bit nicer . . . maybe I should apologize the next time I see him . . .

_You had us all sitting right there in your hands__  
_

_But you had to fall because that's how this life is__  
_

_Got your fingers burned by burning candles at both ends__  
_

_Now the table's turned and now your demons are your friends_

This is getting kind of freaky now . . . it's almost like this song was written about aniki at that time . . . maybe this song is why Mama lent me this CD. He's a really good listener, so I have told him a bit about what happened . . . 'And now your demons are your friends' . . . Haō . . . this song really could have been written about aniki.

_It's never the same on the way down_

_How does it feel when your feet finally hit the ground?_

_When all of your bridges aren't around_

_And the sandcastles you built are falling down_

It must have been really hard for aniki once he wasn't Haō anymore. He did a lot of horrible things. It must have felt like everything he knew was falling down around him . . . I guess no one can really understand what it must have felt like. I really wish that I could . . . it's a bit late now, but this song is bringing it all back . . .

_So now I question what you're gonna do_

_Now that everything's caught up with you_

_You believe the shit you say is true_

_But everybody's onto you_

_Life remembers everything you do_

_Karma has caught up with you_

That sounds like something I could have said to aniki . . . any of us could have said it, actually . . . this song is giving me a lot of flashbacks. I don't know if I like them. I feel kind of like a jerk when I remember . . . was what I did wrong? Should I have done something else? I guess everything turned out okay, but . . . I just don't know.

_It's never the same on the way down_

_How does it feel when your feet finally hit the ground?_

_When all of your bridges have burned down_

_And the sandcastles you built are falling down_

Oh . . . it's over. That was . . . different. I've never thought that much while listening to a song before . . . maybe it's because there was never really any closure after that time. I never really talked with aniki about it. It feels like a forbidden subject . . . but it has been awhile . . . I wish I knew where aniki was so I could talk to him. He's so irresponsible sometimes . . . most times . . . pretty much all the time . . .

I guess I should get ready for work now. A customer complained that the bar is called Usagi, but there aren't any rabbits. Guess what I have to wear now . . . bunny ears and a bunny tail . . . and I was complaining about the booty shorts . . . if I don't get enough money to go to America before niisan comes home, I'll . . . well, I don't know what I'd do. That would be horrible . . . having to go through all of this for nothing.

Oh, a reply from niisan! I'm really glad he bought me this laptop . . . and pays for my internet . . . he has a lot of money. I think I'll tell him to listen to Falling Down, too. I wonder if he'll think of aniki too . . . or maybe he'll think of himself . . . the song could also be about him while he was Hell Kaiser. That's probably what he'd think about, actually. It still bothers him a lot. We've talked about it a lot, so it doesn't bother me anymore. But what happened with aniki still bothers me sometimes. So I thought of that first . . . on second thought, I won't tell niisan about this song. I don't want him to get the wrong idea . . .

Oh no, the sun's almost completely set! I have to go or Mama will give me a lecture for being late! That guy can go on for hours if he gets the chance to. I'll think about this some more later . . . when I'm done being a bunny . . .

-丸藤翔 (Shō Marufuji)

* * *

Author's Note: God, that was hard. I didn't know if I should make it about Judai or Ryo . . . Stupid song could have been about both of them. I went with Judai because that's the first thing I thought of when I heard the song, so it was easier. I'm lazy.


	4. Half of Me

Author's Note: Well, this was inspired by a very strange dream I had. Sho and Edo were best friends, and Sho had an eye patch. I thought it'd be fun to try to make this strange idea work. It was pretty hard. Sho and Edo? That's a bit strange. But that's what fanfiction's for, right? I wish I had an eye patch . . .

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX. I just had a dream. And not even an inspirational one . . .

* * *

Why do these things always happen to me? I didn't do anything wrong . . . I would never steal niisan's deck. He gave it to me! Why is that so hard to believe . . . There's a rumour on the internet that I stole it. Some of niisan's fans decided to take it upon themselves to steal it back . . . and punish me for stealing it in the first place . . . even though I didn't steal anything! I really didn't do anything to deserve this . . .

~~POV Change: Third Person~~

The sun had almost completely set as Shō Marufuji hurried down the street, carefully placing his bunny ear headband on his head as he went. He was running late for his shift at the gay bar, Usagi, and if he didn't hurry his boss would give him a lecture on punctuality. Again.

Shō was usually a very observant person, especially lately since Ryō Marufuji's fans had been getting bolder at expressing their hate for Shō's very existence. He was in too much of a hurry to properly notice his surroundings tonight. If he had, he might have noticed that he was being followed. Unfortunately, even if he had noticed it wouldn't have made a difference. He was completely outnumbered.

They waited until he was about two blocks away from the bar. Shō had decided to take a short cut through an alley to make up for lost time, which gave his pursuers the perfect opportunity to attack. He had been in this part of town enough to know not to struggle when he felt the blade against his neck. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, hoping that whoever it was just wanted money. Of course, he wasn't that lucky.

"He's the freak who stole the Kaiser's deck. See if he has it on him and make him pay, or we're finding new boyfriends."

Shō opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by five scary looking guys, each of them holding a knife. He could see a few girls standing a few feet away, glaring at him like he had killed their children instead of stealing a deck that he didn't even steal. He didn't know where they had heard such a thing, but he knew it would be worse for him if he argued, and he didn't want to know how much worse it could get.

The blade on his neck was pressed down harder until he could feel blood dripping down it. He could feel his hands starting to shake, and he dug his nails into his palms to try to control himself, but he forgot all about that when a fist was shoved into his stomach. He fell to his knees, struggling to breathe. He didn't have time to recover before something heavy came down on his head and everything faded to black.

* * *

"Shō . . . . . . Shō . . . . . Shō . . . . ."

The voice was strangely familiar, but Shō couldn't figure out who it was. All he could think about was the pain. His entire body felt like it was on fire. He tried to open his eyes to see whose voice it was, but he instantly regretted it. The left side if his face screamed in protest, and he whimpered pitifully.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you not to try to open your eyes. An ambulance should be here soon. Just try not to move too much."

". . . w-who . . . who are y-you?"

"It's Edo. Don't talk anymore. Just relax until the ambulance gets here."

What was Edo doing there? Did he save him, or did he just find him? Was he dying? Shō had so many questions, but it hurt too much to talk, and he was told not to. It was getting harder and harder to stay conscience. He didn't even know if Edo was still there. All he knew was pain. He was able to stay awake until he heard sirens, and then he slipped away again.

* * *

When he woke up again, he was in a hospital, or he assumed he was in a hospital. It was too dark to know for sure, but it smelled like a hospital. It was strangely quiet, and he began to panic internally. He couldn't have gone deaf, could he? He sighed in relief when he faintly heard a phone ringing.

"Are you awake?"

"Edo-kun? What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't leave you alone after what happened, could I? How do you feel?"

"It doesn't really hurt anymore . . . but I can't see."

"There are bandages covering your eyes. That's why you can't see. I'm sorry that I didn't get there sooner."

"Bandages . . . I'm not blind, am I?"

"No, you're not blind. Your eyes just need to heal."

"Heal, wait, what were you doing there?"

"Your brother was worried about you, and he asked me to find out how you were doing. It's a good thing he did, or you could still be in that alley. Why did those people attack you?"

"I don't . . . niisan . . . niisan's deck. I stole niisan's deck, but I didn't steal . . . he gave . . . I'm tired . . ."

Shō could feel sleep creeping upon him. The last thought he had was that his boss was going to give him a very long lecture before he fell back asleep.

~~POV Change: First Person~~

I've been in the hospital for a month now. My left eye got infected, and the doctors weren't able to save it. They say I'm lucky I didn't lose both of my eyes. Edo still comes to visit me almost every day, and he even pays for all of my hospital bills. I had to beg him to not tell niisan anything. I don't want to worry him, or for him to come back from America early. Edo promised not to tell, even though he thinks I should.

The rumour that I stole niisan's deck is still floating around on the internet, and has even been in a few dueling magazines. My apartment was trashed a week ago. It was probably some fans trying to take niisan's deck back again. Luckily Edo had the deck when that happened. I asked him to hold onto it for me just to be safe.

I can't believe how crazy these fans can get. They don't even know niisan. Why do they care if I have his deck or not? It has nothing to do with them. Why would they want to attack me and trash my apartment? I've never done anything to them. I really don't know if I want to be a duelist if this is the way the fans act . . . I worked so hard for this? I feel like I just wasted my time. I guess I'm just not meant to be a duelist.

Edo has tried to correct the fans, but they won't listen to him. I told him to stop before they turned on him, too. I don't think they care what's true and what's not. They'll believe whatever they want to. The only person they'll listen to is niisan, and I'm beginning to doubt if they'd even listen to him. They're so full of hate. They just want a scapegoat to direct their anger at. Why can't they just enjoy the game? Is that so hard?

I'm so tired of all of this. I'll just stay in this hospital for the rest of my life. No one can hurt me in here, and I won't duel anymore, which is what they want. Everyone wins. I haven't watched the sunset or sunrise since the attack. Half of me will never see the sun again.

-丸藤翔 (Shō Marufuji)

* * *

Author's Note: This was the hardest thing to write in the world. I don't really care if it's bad at this point. I worked for hours on this thing, and I'm publishing it. Yes, it's probably bad. Yes, Edo is probably out of character, even though he only had a few lines. It's good enough . . . maybe.


	5. Worse than Death

Author's Note: I was going to just give up on continuing this, since I had completely run out of ideas, but then I watched episode seven of Kuroshitsuji II and my mind exploded with them. I have no desire to write Kuroshitsuji fanfiction, because the series is so perfect I don't think it's necessary. So, I decided to take the dark and twisted inspiration and use it on this. I'll try not to get too carried away.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX . . . or Kuroshitsuji.

* * *

One hollow, gray eye stared at the white ceiling above, ignoring the nurse who was placing a tray of food on the owner's lap. Shō Marufuji didn't even offer the young woman a glance as she bowed and left the room. He had been in this hospital for two months and four days. He hadn't set foot outside once, or even looked outside. The only times he left his room were when he had to. It wasn't safe out there. At any moment, someone could come up behind you and attack. He knew. It had happened. It could happen again. The only safe place was inside, and even that could be dangerous.

Shō glanced at the dull curtains covering the windows of his room, and shuddered at the thought of what was behind them. He never wanted to go out there again. They had tried to convince him that it was safe; that something like that would never happen again. He was too smart for them. There was nothing for him outside, anyway. His apartment had been trashed, and he had lost his job after the attack. His boss had told him that it would be too dangerous for him to ever come back. He had lost everything in the real world. Why would he ever even think about going back?

The tray on his lap was starting to feel uncomfortable, so Shō sat up and set the tray on the floor. He was tired of hospital food. He didn't have much of an appetite anyway. It wasn't like he'd die if he didn't eat. They'd just feed him through a tube again. He had tried to starve himself already, and now he just didn't care enough to feed himself. Death would be a lot better than the life he was living now. It didn't even deserve to be called a life. It was nothing but white walls, doctors, and nightmares. He had never been the kind of person who really thought about suicide. Once or twice maybe, but he quickly pushed the thought to the back of his mind. Now, he thought about it almost every day. It would be wonderful to just escape everything.

Shō placed his hand over the bandages on his left eye thoughtfully as he lied back down. It was strange to be blind in one eye. It really didn't help his growing paranoia, either. His mind kept on inventing what was in his blind spot, and it was always a knife, gun, or something else equally terrifying. He tried to ignore it, but it just wouldn't stop. Sometimes it got to the point where he would spin in circles as fast as he could, desperately trying to see everything around him. He would spin and spin until he got sick, or until a nurse came in and forced him to lie down. He just couldn't stand not being able to see what was on his left side. He was starting to lose his mind, but he was at the point where he couldn't bring himself to care.

His blindness wasn't the only thing driving Shō crazy. Every time he fell asleep he was plagued with nightmares. He had been unconscious for most of the attack, but just like with his blind spot, his mind invented what had happened. He could see all of the injuries he had sustained from the attack, and his imagination did the rest. The knives had left their mark everywhere. His face, neck, arms, chest, back, and legs. He was covered in scars. In his nightmares, he relived the birth of these scars. The pain was so real that he could feel it for at least two hours after he woke up screaming, convinced that his wounds had reopened and that he was going to bleed to death. This was something he wished would happen often, but when his brain convinced him that it was actually happening, it terrified him.

Shō's nightmares weren't just about being torn apart by knives. Something else had happened that night. Even if he hadn't been awake, he knew. He felt it when Edo had waked him up; that pain that couldn't have been caused by a blade. His fears had been confirmed when he had been tested for STIs. He had been raped, maybe even more than once. There had been five attackers, so for all he knew he could have been raped five times. This was the nightmare he feared the most. It was so real, he was almost convinced that he actually remembered it. Maybe he had slipped in and out of consciousness, and that was why the nightmares were so vivid. He didn't know. All he knew was that falling asleep was like being attacked, which was why some nights he didn't sleep at all. Exhaustion was better than going through that every night.

Glancing at the door, Shō wondered if Edo was going to come today. After what had happened yesterday, he seriously doubted it. Edo had come into the room during one of the rare occasions that Shō was asleep. He had actually never seen Shō sleeping unless it was drug induced, so he didn't know what happened when he woke up. After about five minutes of peaceful silence, Sho had started screaming and clawing at his arms. Edo quickly grabbed his hands to stop him, which resulted in even louder screams. A couple of nurses quickly rushed in as Shō drove his foot as hard as he could into Edo's stomach, yelling at him to not touch him before a nurse injected him with drugs to calm him down. Edo had been escorted out of the room after that, and he didn't come back in. Shō really wasn't expecting him to visit today, or ever again.

Shō looked away from the door and back to the ceiling again. He probably should be more upset at the idea of losing the only person who actually visited him, but he really didn't care. He liked Edo, but in his current state of mind he couldn't care about anything. A small voice in his head was telling him that he should ask a nurse if he could call Edo and apologize, but he ignored it. If Edo wanted to come back, then he would. Calling wouldn't make him change his mind, and he didn't have anything to apologize for anyway. Edo had started it by grabbing his hands like that. He should have waited for the nurses. That's right; it was all Edo's fault. Shō had just been protecting himself. If he couldn't handle getting kicked in the stomach, then that was his problem.

Shō rolled over onto his stomach, wondering about his other friends and his brother. He had stopped checking his email around two weeks ago. Ryō was probably worried about him, but he had nothing to say without telling him what had happened. He had forgotten why he didn't want to tell him, but like so many other things, it just didn't matter to him anymore. He was a shell of what he used to be. Gone was all of the determination he had once had. All that was a left was a mentally unstable teenager who had lost the will to live and the desire to care.

There are some things that are worse than death.

* * *

Author's Note: Well, so much for my only mildly optimistic story. That wasn't very happy at all. Maybe I should rethink Kuroshitsuji as an inspiration . . . ha . . .


	6. Away from the Sun

Author's Note: I started this chapter many times, but I was never happy with it. Hopefully this time I actually finish . . . oh, and when I started writing this chapter, _Away from the Sun _by 3 Doors Down came on. It goes with this very well, and helped give me ideas.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX or Away from the Sun.

* * *

_And now again I've found myself_

_So far down, away from the sun_

_That shines into the darkest place_

_I'm so far down, away from the sun_

_That shines to light the way for me_

_To find my way back into the arms_

_That care about the ones like me_

_I'm so far down, away from the sun_

_~Away from the Sun by 3 Doors Down~_

Marufuji Shō was standing in front of the bland hospital curtains covering the windows of his room. He missed feeling the sun shining on his face. He missed the light blue of the sky, and the white puffiness of the clouds. He missed breathing in fresh air. He missed the exhilarated feeling he got when he was in a duel. He missed his friends, and his brother. He missed living. If he could just pull open those curtains and see the outside world again, maybe, just maybe, he could begin the transition to returning to his old life; to being alive. That's what he wanted more than anything. He wanted to be alive again.

He took a deep breath and opened his eye, determination shining brightly in the grey for the first time since he had lost half of his vision. If he didn't do this now, he knew that he never would. It was time for him to stop hiding. He gripped each curtain as tightly as he could, his hands shaking from the internal struggle between his fear and his desire to live. This time, the fear was losing. He took one last breath and ripped open the curtains, letting sunlight into the room for the first time since he had arrived.

Had the world always been so beautiful? It was so bright, and full of colours that he hadn't even know existed before. The sun on his face felt more amazing than he remembered, and the blues of the sky breathtaking. Shō pushed the windows open to let the fresh air in. It was wonderful to breath in something other than the smelly hospital air. Joy was swelling in his heart, and he could feel a smile forming on his face.

What had he been so scared of? Yes, there were horrible people out there, but there was also a beauty that was taken for granted far too often. He wanted to go outside. He wanted to run as far as he could, leaving behind all of the pain and fear with each step. He wanted to spin around in circles as fast as he could, not in fear, but in joy. He wanted to call all his old friends and tell them he loved them (even if some of them would call him an idiot for it). Looking out into the world, he wanted to do so much.

Shō knew that it wouldn't be easy. He still had no where to live, no money, and no job; but he wasn't alone. There were people who cared about him, and who would help him get back on his feet. Maybe he could even find a way to fly to America to stay with his brother for awhile. There were numerous doors open for him, he had just been too blind to see them. He was now ready to open his eyes and put his life back together again.

Smiling brightly to himself, Shō turned away from the window knowing that he would be able to look at it whenever he wanted. There was someone who deserved an apology. After that, the sky was the limit. He was alive again.

* * *

Author's Note: It's short because I wanted it that way. I could have gone on about all the great stuff he was going to do, but I don't really like writing endings that are set in stone. Plus, if I wrote that, it'd be forced. Maybe when I manage to do some great things myself I'll be able to write something like that. For now, this is the best I can do. I feel like this story has been completely random . . . but I am a very random person, so it makes sense. Oh, and this is the last chapter. There will be no more. If feels over for me now. So . . . yeah. That's it, I guess.


End file.
